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OLD HORSEY
GENUINE
REPLICA
AUTHENTIC
WORKING
PROHIBITION ERA
DOMESTIC USAGE
BATHTUB GIN STILL
goes on sale this week
Name Too Long Warn Market Watchers
- see page 763
Page 6
MARKET NEWS
by Beverly Clamhopper
eir slogan may be
“Breakfast just got quicker” but
the early morning craze that
is sweeping through our city
is now under an FDA probe.
e popular breakfast cereal
you snort, RAILS, by Mendez
Foodstuffs of Medellin, has been
wowing food retailers since it was
introduced last year, but some
parenting groups are concerned
and now the FDA have launched
an investigation.
Reports of children having
nosebleeds abound, while some
parents insist that after enjoying
a healthy serving of RAILS,
their kids talk at length about
how they are going to take over
the world and become obsessed
by conspiracy theories.
Meanwhile some schools are
reporting a RAILS epidemic. “I
want to report a RAILS epidemic”
said one school spokesman, who
spoke to us on the condition of
anonymity. As his comment was
unfeasibly banal, we are only too
happy to oblige. “More RAILS
please” may be the slogan kids
are shouting across the country
but parents are wondering, “Are
RAILS really such a good thing?”
e kids may be confident, but at
what cost? ❖
RAILS BREAKFAST CEREAL
UNDER FDA SCRU TIN Y